(Revelation 5:5 MSG) One of the Elders said, “Don’t weep. Look–the Lion from Tribe Judah, the Root of David’s Tree, has conquered. He can open the scroll, can rip through the seven seals.”
Yes, God is dangerous but don’t worry, a good dose of religion will tame him down.
Rules for taming the Lion.
- Don’t get too close. (You will feel drawn to him, his power and love, his sincerity and beauty, but inch too close and whoomp, his big paw comes down on you, and he has you.)
- Don’t look him in the eye. (Stay away from the specifics of the Bible. Keep your theology in the abstract. It’s okay to talk about love and faith, but make sure you keep it to interesting conversation.)
- Become more religious. (Religion is like your God diet, all you can “eat,” anything can safely pass through your lips as long as you keep your heart at a distance. You can express your love for God, sing praises to him, worship him, read his Word, attend church, serve in leadership. You can do it all as long as you keep your heart in check.)
- Focus on blessings, your needs and miracles. (Remember that it is God’s job to make you healthy, wealthy and wise. I think that’s in the Bible somewhere. . .where is a reference when you need it?)
- Don’t think about heaven. (Keep your mind on the now. Your happiness, your family’s happiness, job security, your pension plan and retirement savings. Sports. Sports can be a very good distraction. And eating. Yes, feed yourself with all the goodies you can find. Fill that belly and don’t worry about a thing.)
- Find a moral cause to support. (Choose some good cause to stand behind, just don’t let it cut into your “me time.”)
- Never, ever picture yourself standing before God giving an account of your life. (This will undo all your previous efforts. I mean just imagine if the reality of standing before the Lion’s throne hit you full force. God would have control of your life in an instant and all your plans would have been for naught. He probably would have a lot of uncomfortable questions also. No, keep your eyes on the horizontal.)
Okay, friend, a little humor, but maybe not?
Why don’t you give me your thoughts on how to tame the Lion?
